by Victoria Lewis, Ann Cupolo Freeman and Corbett Joan OToole
No More Stares is a book about possibilities: what other women with disabilities have done, what you could do. As you have seen, there are many choices today, many more than ten years ago. And there are more people around to help you decide on a plan for the future whether it’s for the next four months or the next ten years. You should try your parents, your school, your local independent living center or disabled student services. The resource guide at the end of the book will give you some good suggestions about where to go next.
Many of you are in school. Maybe you attend a school for disabled students in the city you live in. Perhaps you go to a state school or maybe you’re in a program to mainstream disabled students into a regular public school. You might be one of the few or the ONLY disabled student in your whole school! Or do you have a home teacher?
Whatever the situation, the unfortunate truth is that most disabled students do not receive as good an education as non-disabled ones. Maybe you don’t feel that’s true for you. But if you feel you’re not getting what you need, all is not lost. Because of many years of discrimination against disabled students, there are now federal laws that say schools have to give everyone an equal chance to get a good education.
So if they tell you that you can’t take a certain class because you’re handicapped or female, tell them it’s against the law. If you need more information on this, see the Resource Guide.
Even though there are possibilities, nothing happens by magic. We know it can be hard to find a job when you are disabled and a woman. Partly that’s because of the inferior education we often get, and partly that’s because of architectural and attitudinal barriers.
Still, for every different job you can imagine, some disabled woman is doing it. Some of us are scientists and computer programmers, some of us are counselors and teachers and social workers, some of us are maintenance and repair people. Some of us work at more than one job and are also mothers. Every one of us can do some kind of work. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
The women in this book got their job skills in many ways, all of which are possibilities for you. Volunteering is a good way to learn about what you want to do. As a teenager you can try out many different jobs. One woman worked at the local Y, at a soda fountain, in a drug store, as a camp counselor, as a file clerk, as a telephone receptionist at school, as a babysitter, as a dog walker, etc.!
Most teenagers can’t wait to get away from home, to be on their own. And most of us are frightened when the day comes. For a disabled woman there are additional fears. Those big important questions arise: What about the help I need to get dressed and go to the bathroom? Who will read my mail to me and help me to pay my bills? What does moving out of a dependent situation into an inde- pendent one entail? Some people seem to be able to change their lives overnight and never blink. Others needs lots of time and support to make a small step towards independence. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you. It’s not a race. It’s your life and you can choose the pace that’s comfortable for you.
Remember: being independent doesn’t mean being alone. It means a chance to get out in the world on an equal footing with other people and live through all the good and bad things that make up a life. It can mean anything from a chance to work at McDonald’s to taking an art class, to riding a city bus, to falling in love. It can mean getting fired from McDonald’s, giving up art for mechanics, complaining about the crowded buses at rush hour, or falling out of love. And then back in again. In love with people or a new apartment or a job or a sports wheelchair. You name it! The important thing is, in your own way and at your own speed, to get out there.
