{"id":1405,"date":"2022-05-05T20:29:15","date_gmt":"2022-05-06T03:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dredf.org\/web-log\/?p=1405"},"modified":"2022-05-09T13:03:54","modified_gmt":"2022-05-09T20:03:54","slug":"interview-with-kyla-quino-irving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/2022\/05\/05\/interview-with-kyla-quino-irving\/","title":{"rendered":"Interview with Kyla Aquino Irving"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>By Meriah Nichols<\/em><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1412\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1412\" style=\"width: 275px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2022\/05\/Kyla-275.jpg\" alt=\"Kyla Quino Irving\" width=\"275\" height=\"270\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1412\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1412\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/beth.baugher\">Beth Baugher<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>In honor of Mother&#8217;s Day, we wanted to turn the spotlight on a dynamic mom who has a disability, Kyla Aquino Irving. Currently residing in Sacramento California, Kyla is a busy working mother to Imani, wife to Steve.<\/p>\n<p>We sat down and got to know her and hope you will too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Part 1: Quick quiz<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong><em>Coffee or tea?<\/em><\/strong> Both, Depends on the day<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Star Trek or Star Wars?<\/em><\/strong> TNG, baby!<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>Favorite Family Show?<\/em><\/strong> Fresh Prince of Bel-Air<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>What&#8217;s at the top of your bucket list?<\/em><\/strong> Visiting Rio de Janeiro<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>What would you bring to the potluck?<\/em><\/strong> Sushi bake<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Part 2: Introductions: Introduce yourself. Talk a little bit about your family and your disability.<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>I&#8217;m Kyla Aquino Irving. My pronouns are she\/her\/hers. I live in the Sacramento region (Nisenan and Maidu tribal land). I am the External Affairs Director at Sierra Donor Services. My husband Steve and I have been married for 8 years, and we have a 4-year-old named Imani. I had a kidney disease as a teenager that led to 2 transplants; I am immunocompromised due to my meds. I also have ADD and identify as a &#8216;Spoonie&#8217;.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Part 3. Your parenting journey: Tell us about your journey to parenthood. Did you always know you wanted to be a parent? Did you experience any doubt or discouragement from family, friends, or medical professionals? Did you experience miscarriages or infertility? Did you adopt?<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>I&#8217;ve always wanted to be a mother. My husband and I knew that having children was part of our plan but wasn&#8217;t sure how it would come about. My mom, who gave me a kidney when I was 22, pretty much forbade me from trying to carry a child for fear that I would risk my life. My husband is the most risk-averse person I have ever met. <\/p>\n<p>We pretty much wrote off having biological children when my medical team dissuaded me. However, in 2015, I was laid off and forced to switch health carriers to my husband&#8217;s &#8211; I was scared to go from a university hospital system to Kaiser Permanente. But Kaiser immediately recognized that I had stable labs and asked if I was interested in carrying a child.&nbsp; As it turned out, Kaiser had a partnership with UCSF and clinical expertise in transplant recipients carrying children.<\/p>\n<p>We took 6 months to switch my medicines (I take meds that cause birth defects) and after 6 months of trying, I got pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>I was excited, but very cautious. I didn&#8217;t share on social media much and didn&#8217;t tell people outside my sisters and best friend until the 2nd trimester. I didn&#8217;t even tell my mom (who I talk to daily) until the 2nd trimester &#8211; eventually she was delighted. She just needed to know that we had a team of doctors ensuring my health and safety.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Part 4. Parenting Challenges: What are some challenges that parents with your disability often experience? What disability-related challenges have you experienced (logistical, systemic, ableism, micro aggressions, etc.).<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>I identify with Spoonie parents who have to lean on our partners and relatives to help. Also, my child is beginning to understand that &#8216;Mommy needs more rest.&#8217; I identify with immunocompromised parents who feel guilty that we keep our masks on and stay home more often than others may<\/p>\n<p>I identify with parents with ADD who struggle with having iron-clad routines and messy homes. I can trust my Google calendar 100% more than my own memory.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Part 5. Parenting Solutions: How has finding support both within and outside the disability community helped you address these challenges?<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>Having support in the Disability community has made all the difference! I would never have even &#8216;deviated&#8217; from my mom&#8217;s request to not have children biologically if not for Sarah Triano, who spoke at a panel at my Youth Leadership Forum (YLF) when I was in high school. She taught me that parenthood is something to fight and advocate for.<\/p>\n<p>Knowing other mothers with disabilities and chronic illnesses paved the way for me. My little sister who has Lupus had a baby just 9 months before me and is the #1 person who leads the way for me.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>How can we raise proud, strong disabled kids?&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>Having community is #1 &#8211; seeing others like yourself is so important in having a strong sense of pride and identity. Attending YLF in high school was a game changer &#8211; I uncovered internal ableism and gained a new family.<\/p>\n<p>Having your kids understand that making requests is okay. We can&#8217;t live the lives we choose without accommodations.<\/p>\n<p>What can we learn from our experiences, growing up with disabilities, to help enable us in our current mission (- of raising these proud, strong people)<\/p>\n<p>Disabled people are the most resourceful people in the world. I have learned that claiming our disabilities and advocating for our needs makes our lives possible.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><strong>Part 6. Resources, tips and hacks: what resources, strategies, techniques, or tips do you have for parents with disabilities were seeking support and connection? How can allies and service providers assist with this? Any &#8216;a-ha&#8217; moments in parenting to share &#8211; how to best support ourselves and each other? Share your wisdom!<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"indent\">\n<p>Social media is a convenient place to find your &#8216;tribe&#8217; &#8211; and more so during a pandemic! I found a support group for moms who have had transplants where we help one another advocate and make requests of doctors and employers.<\/p>\n<p>Be kind to yourself. I think all parents can get bogged down in guilt &#8211; not doing enough \/ doing too much&#8230; it&#8217;s not easy to parent during and after a pandemic. We must give ourselves some credit!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Thank you, Kyla, for sharing a slice of your life with us. Happy, happy mother&#8217;s day to you and all the other moms out there!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/discovermabuhay\">Find Kyla on Instagram<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><strong>May 6, 2022<\/strong><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/dredf.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Kyla-275.jpg\" alt=\"Kyla Quino Irving\" width=\"275\" height=\"270\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-25166\" \/>In honor of Mother&#8217;s Day, we wanted to turn the spotlight on a dynamic mom who has a disability, Kyla Aquino Irving. Currently residing in Sacramento California, Kyla is a busy working mother to Imani, wife to Steve. We sat down and got to know her and hope you will too. [&#8230;] <a class=\"continue\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/2022\/05\/05\/interview-with-kyla-quino-irving\/\">Continue Reading<span> Interview with Kyla Aquino Irving<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[368],"class_list":["post-1405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-disability-rights","tag-mothers-day"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4MGYT-mF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1405"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1420,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405\/revisions\/1420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.dredf.org\/web-log\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}